NEW - Different color from previous design.
ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.
FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.
ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.
REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work.
MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.
MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.
SOLID-STATE - Heavy as hell